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Scary

Like most Darren Aronofsky movies, this is alternatively unpleasant and mesmerizing.  This story of a virginal and mentally disturbed ballet dancer who has been given the plum twin roles of the white and black swan in Swan Lake, you might be more interested in the ballet than the story, as it centers on Natalie Portman, who appears marginally more intelligent and interesting than your average runway model, but only marginally.  Because you don’t invest in her, the film ends up being a lot of visual game playing, a steamy lesbian scene between Portman Mila Kunis, and little more.

Cropsey focuses on an accused Staten Island child murderer in the 70s and 80s.  The documentarians do a very nice job of melding a crime story (there is, in fact, an accused killer) with a child’s sense of the bogeyman.  During my childhood, there was a myth of the house where a father slaughtered his family (in fact, a grandmother had a heart attack), there was the deranged retarded man who dragged kids to the woods (no, but he did sell newspapers), and, of course, the exorcist boy was in the vicinity and went to my high school for a short time.  Cropsey brings back those good ole’ creepy days.

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Scary and interesting only up and until three things happen: you see the CGI little gnomes who are causing the trouble (they look ridiculous); Katie Holmes bashes your sensibilities into submission with her leaden acting; and you realize there is no adequate backstory for why the house is haunted by CGI gnomes.  It just is.

I confess, I got punked.  I saw Guillermo del Toro’s name associated with the picture.  He directed The Devil’s Backbone, Pan’s Labyrinth  and Cronos , which were spooky, atmospheric and rich.

Alas, the movie says Guillermo del Toro presents, not Guillermo del Toro directs.