Arty, ingenious, bloodless and about as fun as, well . . . The Matrix. I fell asleep, and when I woke up, I thought, “How did Leonardo DiCaprio’s character from Shutter Island get modern clothes and walk into this picture. And why did they cast an Asian actor who can barely speak English in a critical role, and did he just say ‘weesh need no tourish on dees shrip?’ And was that the kid from Witness? Yikes! He grew up ugly.”
And then I went back to sleep.