Murder by Numbers – 0 stars

Barbet Schroder’s Murder By Numbers is awful.  The protagonist is a hardened, take-no-crap bitter homicide detective with ghosts in the past and a skeleton in the closet.  This detective fu**s hard and then kicks you out of bed so you don’t get too close.  Voices haunt this detective.  This detective is a pro, no stranger to the massive homicide rate in some California coastal town in San Benito County, California.  This detective has seen it all.

This detective is played by Sandra Bullock.  The next Jack Ryan may as well be David Hyde Pierce.

Grizzled ole’ Sandra has to deal with two Leopold and Loeb wannabes who fail the movie Leopold and Loeb prerequisites of being either 1) smart or 2) cool under fire.  The plot is a senseless mush of hackneyed stew, and Bullock is humiliated by being given the tough gal role, only to be pushed around time after time after time by one of these high school punks.  Worse, she gets attacked severely by . . . a monkey.

You really have to see it, but I recommend that you do not.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: