The Greatest Night in Pop – 3 stars

The best part of this documentary is the beginning, where the famine in Ethiopia is juxtaposed with the difficulty of wrangling stars who might alleviate such monumental, global suffering. But it must be done the night of The American Music Awards, because, you know, they all have busy schedules.

That, and when someone observes that had Michael Jackson not participated, it would have been “one of the biggest mistakes of his career.”  Well sure. One of them.

Also, Cyndi Lauper almost bails because “I was so punch drunk tired” after the awards show. Oh, and her boyfriend didn’t think it was a hit.

This is, unknowingly, pretty funny, clueless shit.

There are, however, some genuinely cool moments that aren’t fully mockable.

I liked how Kenny Rogers drove his own shitty car to the studio amidst the fleet of limos.

I liked how Steve Wonder wanted to sing a made-up Swahili line and Waylon Jennings just split.

I liked how Bob Geldof saved the project, torpedoing Wonder’s stupid idea by explaining that the song was not for Africans, as they would likely not be hearing it, but rather, eating because of it, and further, Ethiopians don’t speak Swahili.

I liked Bob Dylan on whatever drug he was on looking like a dude who does not know what portal he fell through to be amongst these people. And it was very sweet to see how Quincy Jones and Wonder got this addled fool thru his part.

I liked how Kim Carnes’ solo was reduced to two lines in favor of a Huey Lewis harmony, which she handled better than Sheila E, who sussed out that she was only invited as Prince bait, whereupon Sheila pulled a Waylon.

But, ultimately, as perhaps preordained, this documentary must fail, because it does not explain the presence of Dan Ackroyd.   He is inexplicably back there in certain scenes, doing absolutely nothing. Like Bigfoot.

On Netflix.