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Monthly Archives: June 2012

The Innkeepers – 3.75 stars

June 3, 2012
2012, 3 stars, Scary
1 Comment

The pushback on the gore porn of Saw, Hostel, etc . . . is in full swing.   The Paranormal Activity flicks, The Woman in Black, Trick ‘r Treat, The Last Exorcism, and now, The Innkeepers all fall in a sub-genre that emphasizes pace, suspense and the little things that do not require splatter, chunks of flesh and no possible hope of escape.

The Innkeepers is about a haunted Connecticut inn on its last legs.  Two slacker employees (there are 3 guests and the workers can’t manage to have clean towels for any of them), one of whom is working on a website trying to trumpet the inn as a haunted locale, do 12 hour shifts on the inn’s last weekend in operation.  Bored, and stoked by a guest (Kelly McGillis) who is some sort of amateur medium in town for a convention, the duo pass the time filming and recording the inn in an attempt to engage its ghost.  They succeed, and the patience director Ti West exhibits in getting to a truly scary payoff is impressive.

It’s not flawless.  The principals are a bit stilted, though they warm to their roles; the humor is not always humorous; the character development is not super; and I wish we were given a little bit more on the history of the ghost.  But the strength is the feel and that feel is well-represented in the trailer.

Also, one caution – remember Kelly McGillis from Witness? 

This is McGillis from The Innkeepers

The Bone Collector – 1 star

June 1, 2012
1 star, 90s, Crime/Mystery
2 Comments

The Bone Collector is a thriller about a police detective (Denzel Washington) who is paralyzed.  Unfortunately for New York City, a serial killer is on the loose and there is nothing Denzel can do except mentor a rookie cop during the investigation.  The killer dwells in the NYC subway system, so naturally, the rookie cop must be sent in its bowels, with an earpiece and camera, allowing the bedridden Washington to see what she sees and thus guide her.

As implausible as that may seem, try this on for size – the rookie cop is Angelina Jolie.

Those lips, those cheekbones, that gun!

The choice was so inept that the scriptwriter actually wrote in the fact that she is an ex-model.  You half expect her to start disrobing, ala’

Blues, cop, Fashion, Cosplay

Truly, Jolie’s character should set the teeth of all modern womanhood on edge.  When she cries, all the men pat her on the back and tell her she is “terrific” (in fact, Mike McGlone and Denzel Washington actually call her “terrific” within 10 minutes of each other).  And then she bucks up with a pretty smile.  When she is upset, she huffs off the job, although she is a beat cop.  But then the men drop by to see if she is “all right.”

For some reason (and I am guessing “those lips, those cheekbones!”) the men don’t say, “Hey. Where the hell are you going, you piece of sh**.”

Anyone with a rudimentary knowledge of movies and a brain stem will have this figured out in a jif.  That said, New York City is very spooky in this film.  It gave me that same creepy, flesh crawl I felt in “Ghostbusters II.”  Hence the single star.